Hello, my darlings! I hope all is well with y’all, and if is not please remember that the battle has already been won.
Aight this blog will be about loving people. The great commandment ever gives but also the hardest. As always I am speaking for myself and what the patterns I see around me. My darlings, loving people is hard and I’m not just talking about random people on the street, I also mean friends, family, and all the in-betweens.
In my younger days, the people in my life had three strikes. That is a full lie. They had one strike. They messed up once and our relationship would be donezo. I wouldn’t talk about it to them, I would just drop them. Was that the mature thing to do? No. But let’s move forward. I have had friendships where I really was the one putting in all the emotional work. Friendships where I would be there for the person front row but they wouldn’t even make it on time for my events that were important to me. Honestly, this goes for family members too. I am the one that is constantly checking in, keeping my word and would my energy be reciprocated? Nope. I would just get kind words about how much of an amazing friend I am and how lucky they are to have. In my mind, all I said was “then treat me like I treat you”. Like huh?! It didn’t make sense.
I was uncomfortable telling those people in my life to do better, to love me better so I would just start “drifting” away to see if they would notice. Some did and some, whenever I bumped into them, they would say “oh man, what happened to us we were close.” My response, “honey, nothing happened and that is the point, you only liked the way I made you feel. I made you feel supported, loved, cared for, I poured into you and that’s the only reason you kept me around, now that I am gone, you miss the warmth I gave you but not enough for you to reach out because you never partook in being MY friend.” Obviously, I said this in my head. It hurt like shit whenever someone does reciprocate the same energy you put out. It hurts romantically, and it hurts even more in friendship. It is just painful. More time than I count, I have cried and asked God why did He make so emotional, prone to providing people with warmth, if more times than not, I never had the same amount back.
Now in my older days, now that I have found God I am beginning to understand love in a new way. Loving people has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with Him. The reason I can love people nowadays is that he first loved us. Yes I know, that is super cheesy for all the homies have a relationship with Christ but that doesn’t make it any less true. We live in such a broken world that all you can do is be kind, and love on people to make the world not seem so gloomy. Have y’all seen what is happening overseas, in own country, in our own cities. People are hurting, and if there is any way I can make someone’s day a little sweeter even if it’s just for a second. I am going for it. Showing kindness, making people smile, and all that good stuff is my way of letting God’s goodness shine through me. I am His vessel and when my cup is filled all the way up, loving people come so naturally to me and it brings me so much joy.
Whenever that cup is running on E…I am selfish with my light and go back to thinking that I should only love people so they can love on me back. It’s like giving someone a compliment just so that they can give you one back. Yeah, I know gross. I don’t like being that way when I know that I can be a better person but the weight of the world gets so heavy sometimes and loving on people takes a lot of energy and I get tired. Who is loving on me, when is the last time so and so checked up on me? And that right here is the enemy pulling me by my three strands of hair (I have a full fade, so my hair is super short) trying to make me believe that I shouldn’t love on people because they don’t love me back with the same energy. Which is absolute rubbish. Garage. Trash. False. Y’all if God thought like that, I feel like we would still be living in the old testament where if we messed once, we would be murked on sight.
If God, the OG, can forgive for my nonsense, who am I to hold a grudge just because someone didn’t text me back. Who am I to try and get in the way of His glory to fully shut off my light to someone who may need it. Like I am honestly disrespectful thinking like that and 10/10 God’s will is done so I’m really stalling His purpose for me. So after I have my little hissy fit about how I feel, He brings me back. Whether it is in song, a sermon, a friend sharing their testimony, etc, I always come back. Loving people isn’t for my own personal gain but for His glory. It is to show that there is light in this world. It shows that there is hope, there is a better tomorrow and it really goes a long way.
Here are some small ways to love on the people in your life:
- Send a few homies a good morning text (good morning texts are a mood darlings, and not just for your significant others)
- Buy a homie lunch (only if you can, don’t go into the negatives in your bank account if you can’t)
- Buy a homie their favorite snack or coffee drink (It’s the little things that matter.)
- Venmo/ Cash App a small account of money for them to treat themselves and put the reason in the title of the transaction (like $15 for lunch cause I love you or just cause. Something sweet, cute and meaningful in the shortest amount of words)
- Give them a call (I promise you that you can spare 5-10 mins from your busy schedule to just say hey, tell him/her you were thinking of them and wish them a good day .)
- Shout them or their business on an Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook story (show your homies some love, retweet, share, etc. Just show them some support)
- Show up to their events
- Pray for them. (ask for prayer requests)
In all honesty, all of these actions can be summarized as: make the time and put in the effort. It can be a small gesture or a big one. It is important to personalize it to that friend or family member so that they feel known and loved. Remember that loving others isn’t about you but about letting God’s goodness shine through you.
Until next time my darlings,