“Nooooo, She wasn’t ready”

What’s good homie g’s! It finally summertime and we thank God cause I don’t know about y’all but I love summer. Twitter is a lot funnier, the weather is nice besides for days when it’s not, you get more time for your family and friends, more time to catch up on your favorite series and of course more time to make that schmoney! Point is, summertime is here and I am excited but y’all winter came, it was cold and I was struggling! Let’s get into it!

So, last semester was a lot tough. Yes, you read that correctly, a lot tough, not a little, a lot tough. I was taking 15 hours instead of my usual 12, and working two jobs. Cute, right. I am a marketing major, although it may sound like its all fun and games, it can also be boring! The classes I took were: new product development, business law, sales management, international marketing, and an internship class. There wasn’t one class where I could really be creative so it was really hard for me to give my time and attention to these classes. Graduating is a good reason to give these classes my time and attention, yes. But no. Y’all passing these classes felt damn near impossible. I cried a lot. It was a mess. Moving forward.

On top of classes, I was working as Moocho brand ambassador and a community advisor at Tech. Working for Moocho was fun at first but got very repetitive as time went by. And of course, I couldn’t quit because I needed it for my internship class. If I quit the job, I would have failed the class and wasted a thousand U.S. dollars. I was added to the class late so if I dropped the class, I couldn’t get a refund. Believe me, I thought about it. This class was a capstone class which means you have to take it in order to graduate. Being a community advisor, I am not allowed to work another job so I had to get special permission to take this class and the professor teaching the class talked to the board to lower the number of hours I needed to work because he knew that I had another job. Originally I was supposed to be working 40 hours a week, and he talked them into lowering it to 25 hours a week. As you can see a lot had to come together in order for me to take this class so quitting or failing were not options.

I was also the social media chair for the Impact Movement and a co-leader for a bible study at my church. Shout out to my Impact family, Gospel Community and my Redeemer family. So for those that like math, here is what was on my plate: 15 hours of school, working two jobs, had a leadership chair for an organization on campus and in my church, and trying to be a good friend, a blogger all at once. When I tell you that I was stressed, worried, and exhausted… I really was. Lol, one night I broke down and I cried in the library because I thought I was going to fail my exam the next day. I did. I got a 58. Haaaaa yeah okay.

Looking back, it was a cold winter but it wasn’t that bad. Shoutout to my friends that kept encouraging me to stay strong, look on the brighter side of things, and reminded me that God had my back. Y’all were right. But why was it so hard to believe or even accept that in the midst of that winter? Why was I worrying about things that I had prayed for that God delivered on? Everything that I listed above, I prayed for. The internship class along with with the internship, the leadership positions, all of it. When God was like “BOOM DAUGHTER HERE YOU GO”, I was like “nooo, noooo she wasn’t ready.” That’s a Kevin Hart reference for those who don’t know. I was she and she was I.

With reflection, I learned that God has three answers to every prayer. It’s either yes, no yet, or He has something better for me. So if the He came through with these prayer requests, why was I worried that I was going to fail and have to buy a one-way ticket to Norway to live out my failures? Why?  I serve a loving, caring God that will not forsake me like EVER! Y’all the way that He has cared for me, provided for me, love me is so indescribable! Honestly, it leaves me speechless. There is no word that can fully describe how good He has been to me. It’s brazy. Crazy.

The reason why I was worried most of the time this past winter was because I am human. I live in a broken world with other broken people. So assuming the worst is just a part of how I think about things more times than others. Which is something I am working on through reading the bible and having such amazing friends that remind of God’s power and grace.   You see, we never get the full picture with our future and that makes me anxious. With being anxious, I start to worry and thus the slippery slope of being living in my head beings.

It was by the blood of Jesus that I made it through the last semester. I thought I was going to fail two classes, international marketing, and the internship class and then get all C’s. By the grace of God, I got all B’s and one C. Y’all, I thought a professor or two got something wrong but I didn’t question anyone. I even took a screenshot so that one could take anything back. LOL. I was shook.

I say all of this to say, prayer is powerful so pray with purpose and be ready when He answers your prayers. If He does say yes, believe that He will get you through that season no matter how hard it gets. If He says not yet, darlings don’t force whatever it is you want, you will only be playing yourself and if He says He has something better in mind, get ready for a blessing you didn’t even know was an option cause He will deliver!

A little faith will take you the distance, just like it got me through last winter. A great reading from the bible that I  like to remember when I really get in my head about life that brings me back is Matthew 6:25-34. This is the Christian Standard Bible. And it reads:

The Cure for Anxiety

25 “Therefore I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Consider the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? 27 Can any of you add one moment to his life span[a] by worrying?28 And why do you worry about clothes? Observe how the wildflowers of the field grow: They don’t labor or spin thread. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these. 30 If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t he do much more for you-you of little faith? 31 So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God[b] and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. 34 Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Worrying is for the birds, lol sike cause the birds don’t even worry about where they are gonna eat next cause God got them like that. If He has their back, I promise you, He has yours too.

That’s all I got for y’all today,

Until next time my darlings,



One Comment Add yours

  1. Emily says:

    First, I really like the intro to your blog. It’s so simple and concise. I enjoy how you never quit being yourself no matter what you are doing. You are unique and that is a trait we need more of.


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